Anger Management

This paper has been taped to our fridge for the past week. It'll likely remain there alot longer. It comes from a moment yet ANOTHER moment of #1 getting so angry so uncontrollably angry that she can't communicate and chose rather to push, or hit, or bite, or slap, or kick #2 in the stomach. Sure, some of the physical roughing is provoked (most often by singing) and some of it is "just being siblings" (as Matt reasons), but it's reoccurring pattern is getting ridiculous. Really, your sister wouldn't stop singing and so you punched her in the stomach? Really, she was going to throw something so you left teeth marks in her back? Not ok!

So, in a moment of "You slapped her, again?!/I can't deal with this right now" I ordered her to go down to her bed. Waving ten fingers in the air, I demanded that she not come talk to me until she could name ten OTHER options that are BETTER than choosing to hurt someone. She headed downstairs and sheepishly came back up a short while later with her ten fingers raised. Remembering carefully, she listed off ten GREAT alternatives. She was ready to move on...but I wasn't. So, next way to lengthen the "you'll think about this/Mom needs to cool down too" time, I had her get a paper and write numbers 1-10 down the left hand side. The items to write were more important than a school spelling test, however. They were to be prominently placed on the fridge as more of a reminder than a proud display.

Truth be told, I ended up LOVING this list. I don't love the reason we got it. But, as I see what she chose to include, how can I not humble myself and smile? Some personal favorites: #3 - Forgive them. #4 - Breathe in and out. (Mrs. Wallace taught in her Kindergarten class to "smell a flower and then blow out a candle...smell a flower and blow out a candle." That is now the deep-breathing visual I now attempt!) #5 - Freeze like a Statue. #7 - March around mad but don't touch them. Pretty sound ideas, I'd say!

The list has been revisited. There continue to be times that I come up with no other response than "Go stand in front of that fridge and REREAD your list! Which one of those TEN ideas would have been a better choice?" I am frustrated with these outbursts. I am trying to reason with her that there is no way this will be accepted once she returns to school. But, I realize that this is something I am going to HAVE TO work through with her. (Any more effective methods that have been used at your house? Any words of encouragement that this is just a stage that will pass?)

There have also been times when I have stood in front of the ten prompts for my own benefit. Perhaps even more than the author herself, I need the list to think about. After an angry outburst I think of what I am really teaching. I want to raise calm children who can express themselves. But, my anger needs to be controlled before I have any right to expect it of my children.

Oh, to walk the talk...

Butterflies Out!

We'd been watching our hanging chrysalises for just under a week. Watching them change from light to dark. Watching their wings become more transparent through the thin casing. I thought a few more days of nothing happening remained...until Matt walked in at dinnertime, two days ago, and exclaimed! "What?!, you have a butterfly?" From the table, we all questioned him back in surprise. "What? That's much sooner than the written 7-10 days!" "Yes! And it looks like you have another coming out right now." Perfect, I thought, now Matt (who'd never seen a butterfly come out either) could watch along with the kids. We'd missed the first, but we would see number two!

Feet raced to the counter for prime viewing! Excited, we pulled the butterfly net closer. Pulled it way too fast and way too hard! All the remaining chrysalises began violently shaking. The paperwork sent along with the caterpillars explained that this shaking motion is their form of natural defense to ward of things approaching it. Makes sense, and we'd seen it while watching over the week. But this was creepy and endless. Traumatic and hard to shrug off when it's full-speed didn't stop. In the middle of the shaking, out came number two. Problem was it got tangled within the chrysalis. It didn't just drop out easily. Finally it found a way to wiggle back out the top...ending with a very crippled wing. Not normal. Then, as I tried to explain that they pump blood into their wings to strengthen and straighten them, the first butterfly began dripping red liquid. Blood. Really? Not normal? As my kids watch, I now need to explain one bleeding to death, one damaged, and the others perhaps dying inside due to shock? NOT what I had visualized when I ordered this "beautiful" thing to observe...

(Turning back to the paperwork, I read that this "red liquid" was not blood but the "extra coloring" that the butterfly doesn't need. Makes sense...afterbirth. But nasty! That was obviously a detail I had long forgotten since my days in the zoo's butterfly exhibit. That was obviously something I didn't want splattering after each coming butterfly. Nasty!)

With no signs of other openings, we headed back to table. Regretting moving the net. Still with the heebie-jebbie background sound of the chrysalises shaking violently.

Next day, we missed one at breakfast. I saw the next one come out. Much less traumatic, but such a short process that there was no way of getting the camera's zoom to document any of it. That meant five in and five out. Sigh of relief that they didn't ALL die and require explaining! No fun in that.

Throughout the day we continued to watch. I figured they'd all be out by lunch. Knowing the drop out is literally less than ten seconds, we stood watch not wanting to miss it. A few more came. Semi-noticed, we watched them hang and dry their wings. Meg then took up the post of constant watch. With three left she was to yell, if something happened. I headed out to bring in the garbages and came back in questioning if anything had changed. "No. It's just boring." I peeked in to verify, and realized that two of the remaining three had snuck out unnoticed! Within my under five minute garbage run, they'd slipped out.

Stink! One remaining...

Would we see it? Would we all be pleasant and enjoy this last chance of this whole "experience," rather than yelling and throwing elbows when we couldn't see perfectly? Could the camera catch it?

Minutes later, I saw it beginning to break out. I called the girls over from the table. I zoomed in with the camera. The girls were happy. The camera worked. It was a good, brief moment. Thank goodness we had ten chances to get that one second "right!" (pictured below) Cool moment. Yes, a unexplainable little miracle of change.

But, I quickly realized it would be a ONCE-in-a-lifetime moment at our house. Actually, I'd probably decided that somewhere between butterfly three and four... Red splattered across the netting (cropped from the pictures), crunchy chrysalises left behind, and creepy eyes peering at me (when I tried to brave up and put the required flowers in "for fun viewing"), were signs that this was not my thing. I could maybe keep a brave face in front of the kids a bit longer. I was excited ALL ten had come out for the kids to witness. But REALLY, I couldn't get them OUT of my kitchen fast enough (when I showed Matt how the zoom worked for the last one, he replied..."GROSS!"). There was a lingering smell about them. One that I now associate with the many purple Lysol wipes I used to clean up after them (won't be buying those again seeing as they now cause a gag reflex in me!).

I didn't share the "enjoy feeding and watching them for a couple of days" from the paperwork with the kids. Instead, I crossed fingers that Matt got home while daylight remained so that they could be set free OUTside!

Thankfully, Matt did make it home before the sun set. As a group of five, we headed to the garden. Matt unzipped. Paige had no hesitation putting her entire arm into the net to let one climb on her fingers. Nor did she miss a beat in chasing them around the yard to repeatedly pick them up and admire them. Most of the butterflies were patient with her handling and hung on, motionless, for a bit. A few flew off independently. That was fun to watch. Watching the kids' excitement about the release was a GREAT part of this whole thing!

Meg needed a bit more encouragement to get a finger near any of them. Creepy they remained. I empathized with her, but got one on my finger and held it "close, but not touching" for her to examine. Can you read her look of "I'm loving it at arms length"...and my look of "well, it ended out alright!"? Meg chased them around the garden and was willing to touch the leaves they sat on. And, she was up bright an early and snuck out back to see how many had stuck close through the night (two). She shows excitement from afar.

I think, after this whole evolving cycle, I side with Meg. These "Painted Ladies" are neat, interesting, beautiful, a flying favorite...IF at a distance! I'll smile at their wings as they fly by. I'll likely keep a count of them over the next few weeks (Their lifespan is just 2 weeks to 2 months, with the sole purpose of reproducing.). I'll remember the fun moment of their release. But reordering? No. Washing out the net for next year? No! Still considering ladybugs for next year? No.

I have a soft spot of bugs OUT in my garden...but I don't have the stomach for body functions nor the love of fuzzy bodies!

Make-Believe Monday: Knights

Matt happened to be home for this one, which meant he could quickly cut and construct swords, on demand (to add to cardboard cut shields I saved from a recent party). He could also present the swords to the girls with an official-sounding swearing in - aka the rules of "you promise to not poke in the eye, to not hit anybody in the head, to not hurt anyone in the belly."

Once sworn in, they settled on names deemed worthy of their weapon: "Knight Megamus" and "Knight Chewy" (Paige changed hers to the less threatening name of "Princess Ariel" midway through the game, of course). Then, with fierce faces added, they were off to battle!

I'm not certain, but perhaps Disney's animated Robin hood educated Meg in the "you just pretend to die" placement of the sword. Whatever the source, she had it down. All down except the serious face, that is!

Paige, on the other hand, was a bit more sceptical of the sword's tip after she faked a fatal blow. Was blood at the end of that point? Let's hope no real blood comes from these weapons in future days of play...

the Fireworks After!

After the parade and backyard sparklers, we made it to the annual aeriel firework show at Mueller Park Jr. Thankfully, we utilize a friends' backyard to get directly onto the field without fighting the crowd. Seeing the red, white, and blue burst across the sky had it finally feeling like the July holidays should.

Not much to say except that I completely enjoyed Tyler's latenight mellowness as he plopped in my lap...and tolerated the exhausted tears that came with getting the wrong color glowstick.

the Local Parade

We made our way down to the local "Pioneer Days" parade. Pulling our blanket and two chairs into an intersection has proven as the way to get prime seating these past two years. Quoting Matt, "it seems to get more painful each year" and the elbows thrown for candy were far worse this go around, but there still were some sweet moments that made this classic evening along Main.

1-The three situated on the blanket waiting for things to get rolling.

2- Paige unfailingly waving the flag from front position (while Meg ran to my lap during sirens and Tyler ran to Matt's lap for the candy stash).


3- Small hands placed over hearts as the flag was marched by.


4- The bagpipes! The bagpipes never fail to be my personal favorite (Made even better by Paige's hips that couldn't hold still when any band with a beat went past).


5- The Bountiful Tabernacle replica. "Mom, it's your old church!" (We've been hearing of its construction by neighbors in my old ward and peeking at it parked across the street from my parents).

Make-Believe Monday: Feathered Friends

Seems like we've had a thing for birds this summer - between my backyard feeders and the hummingbird stalking. I guess it is fitting that we add today's pretending of "feathered" birds. I was set to find some way to papermache a mask of some sort, but I am glad that I found inspiration for material wings instead. Less mess. Longer lasting. I could have made them a bit more realistic in color, but used scraps from the basement for a more random mix. It is pretend, right. The more colorful the better!

I wondered if my six-year-old would really want to sport a caped look. Am I pushing this play too much? Should I push her to be more "grown-up?" But, once the costumes were on and I witnessed how much they both loved it, I changed back to the question of why not squeeze in as much pretending before she claims aloud to be "too old" for it!

Following Paige's lead to gather sticks by mouth, they worked together (hoping "because birds hop") to create a "nest" out front. When our highschool-aged neighbor boy walked by, he was recruited for gathering grass from the overgrown corners of the yard for the inside seating. No way could he turn down a few minutes with the eager girls birds!

Cramped Quarters

Things are changing in the small hummingbird nest! If possible, the itty-bitty nest seems even smaller. Last time I included pictures here, the nest was left with two unhatched eggs inside. Back on July 6th, above, we found two scrawny masses. Couldn't have been more than a day or two old! Below was a week after that, July 12th. Eyes just slit open. Bodies clumped together. Not much movement beyond breathing.

Below is today, July 17th. Things are beyond cramped as the two birds grow bigger! They were much more alert. Their feathers are fluffing up. Their beaks growing in length! With the eyes of the one staring us straight on, they were squeaking up a storm. But, what wouldn't when a big five digit hand comes at you first with a big black camera and then with a quarter for size comparison? Perhaps it hoped we'd have food. Perhaps it was crying out an alarm. They look so uncomfortable, I wonder how much longer they'll be contained within.

I really try not to peek in there too often. Each time I have to convince Matt to position the truck's bed beneath the branches and climb up among the limbs - He can only take so much. Most times I see the momma dart off into a distant tree and watch from halfway up - She can only take so much. And, now that the babies are squawking, I need to remember that they can only take so much up close attention.

But, each time I do peek up over the nest's edge I am excited. It has been a neat thing to keep an eye on this Summer!

Find-Out Friday: Caterpillars

I was sucked into a TV infomercial. For just $19.95, you could watch caterpillars turn to butterflies in your own home! And, for a limited time only, you would not only get one jar but two! A total of ten caterpillars.

Sales pitch aside, I was sincerely interested in this setup. When an early teen, I used to work at the Hogle Zoo. Although that really just translated into volunteering to scoop poop and wash windows, I enjoyed each Saturday there because at the time I wanted to become a zookeeper. Near the end of my second year of volunteering, my job included standing as the "junior zookeeper"/informant in the new-at-the-time "butterfly building." You know, the glass house that has transformed from its original tropical butterfly house to a rare white alligator exhibit, among other things. While on shift, I was to stand guard near the chrysalises and explain what was happening to visitors. A few hours in front of those equaled witnessing alot of amazing transforming.

So, the chance to show that metamorphosis to my girls? Something to watch firsthand over the Summer? Of course! I got the setup from "livebutterflygarden.com" (supposedly $10 cheaper than their regular catalog site which also offers it and other neat insect kits).

Today, alone, the caterpillars have tripled in size. Each walk to the top of the container has the girls convinced they'll instantly change into chrysalis form. This will obviously be an ongoing find-out. I'll post pictures of the wings being officially released, I'm sure.

Visiting: Brigham City's Angel placed!

(Picture overload, I know. But with it being something we went to SEE, pictures are really better than any written details.)


With an umbrella in hand, we joined the crowd at Brigham City's tabernacle to watch as the Angel Moroni was lifted to the top of the temple across the road, yesterday. We made a quick circle hunting potential spots, and settled in under a large tree towards the back. From that spot we had a good view of the two spires and the two cranes - the focus of the day. We hunkered down and watched other groups huddled under their umbrellas. Alot of families. A few missionaries kicking around a soccer ball. An obvious feeling of anticipation and excitement.

We were sheltered from the majority of the rain, thanks to the large branches overhead. A big Summer storm had dropped rain all morning. We drove through it on the way up, hoping the sky would clear as we got nearer. A few blue patches were seen as we turned off to Brigham (which gave us a chance to explain to the girls how back in '99 an unusual tornado literally jumped over the Salt Lake Temple), but the hope of a clearing was quickly filled with dreary clouds. The temperature was nice, but the wind and rain definitely had us putting on jacket hoods.

Right at noon, the scheduled time for the ceremony, the front crane lifted three workers up to the top of the East spire. By this point, we'd been on the grass watching for nearly an hour. Hurrah for things running promptly! We could watch the workers, watch the raising statue, watch the crowd clear out, and be on our way. Or so I hoped...

Turns out we watched the basket of workers go up, and down, and up, and down MANY times. According to the old man's binoculars next to us, the workers were "removing some plastic protection from the top." Some times the basket would be sent up empty. Quickly things turned into countless false alarms.

With the wind as it was, it seemed like nothing was going anywhere. Rumor began to spread that it couldn't be done that day. People got antsy. People began picking up cell phones and filling those on the other end with, "well, they are now saying something over the speakers, but from here we can't hear what it is." While hearing loud phonecalls near me, I looked towards the front of the crowd. Things had turned quiet up there. Heads were bowed. Alot of heads were bowed.

A prayer was being said. Perhaps this prayer, now an hour and a half PAST the noon start time could be what we were waiting for to really get things started.

No such luck. Still no golden statue being raised. Another halfhour after the prayer, after walks and a LONG wait to get into the one bathroom, we realized our family's need for food. Our packed snacks were long gone. The repeated raising cranes had lost interest. We were ready to go. Ready to be completely done? No. But we had to fill the bellies. We left the cranes and ominous sky behind and took off for a quick Wingers' fix.

We knew that the chance of missing the actual lifting was great. But, felt that there was no other choice with little ones (and a hungry husband). We slid into our bench. I looked out the window and saw nothing less than the golden angel being lifted in the distance. REALLY? Ten minutes and we would have seen it? Ah well, I guess I'll point it out to the girls and let them watch it through the window. Wait! A truck is pulling into the one parking stall that blocks our view. Ah, well! We'll be full when we return, I guess...

Less than an hour later, we returned to the busy crowd. The girls and I were dropped off while the car was parked. We got back just as the last few stanzas of the hymn were going. When the music shut off, the cheering erupted. We had made it back just in time to take part in the final feeling of group excitement! What a happy moment.

As the crowds shifted, we bumped into some friends. They had been sitting much closer to the front of the tabernacle and had seen firsthand when a man walked to the center of the crowd and in essence explained that with the wind as it was, the angel couldn't be placed. The church leaders were asking that a prayer be said among those watching. A prayer to temper the elements. Turns out that the moment I witnessed bowed heads was a prayer that would be answered. Answered quite immediately! Look at the obvious sky difference between the gray sky (last shot above) as the workers were trying to make preparations and the bright cloudless sky we returned to see the angel placed under (just below). Rain gone. Clouds gone. Wind gone. Jackets gone. Replaced by heat and clear skies!

Sure, the bad weather in the beginning was the cause of the nearly three hour delay. But such bad weather gave occasion for help from above. Meg will probably always be a disappointed that the need for food took over seeing the actual angel rise. But, I'll always be grateful to have been there before and after enough to have witnessed a beautiful answer to a faith-filled prayer. I'll always remember how the windless sky helped make the raising of the angel possible on the day we stood among the crowd!

I'll also remain grateful for the challenge we've set to visit the Utah temples. I know I've written of that before. But, had I not turned our family's travelling focus towards these buildings, I would have remained completely unaware of this event happening. We would have missed out on precious moments of family time on the grounds around these sacred walls. This has been a strengthening thing for our little crew.

After the final cheers were done, the crowd quickly cleared out. Within minutes the thousands were down to just a few hundred remaining. That made it easy for us to slowly walk to the front of the tabernacle's grass. The girls dipped their toes in a creek they had had their eyes on. Then we crossed the street and took in some closer angles of the temple. We stood just inches from the fence as the crane of workers lowered for the last time! What fun to peek through the incomplete walls of the temple. To see ladders and exposed walls. To see work trucks move. To see the engravings on the walls up close.

What a beautiful building. It has definitely become a prominent silhouette in this city's skyline. Definitely a different skyline than the one I passed so many times when driving to and from Logan's Utah State. Mingling with several locals during the hours there, it is obvious that it is a welcomed blessing close to their homes. What a blessing each carefully located temple is!

Utah Temples to Tour:
•Bountiful
•Brigham City
•Draper
•Jordan River
•Logan
•Manti
•Monticello
•Mount Timpanogos
•Ogden
•Oquirrh Mountain
•Payson
•Provo
•St. George
•Salt Lake
•Vernal